Bondage for Beginners

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When the word ‘bondage’ is mentioned, it generally fills your mind’s eye with shocking images of leather masks, uncomfortable collars and being locked away in a dark cellar somewhere in central Europe. Well we’re glad to say, you, along with almost everybody in India it seems, have probably slightly misunderstood what bondage actually is.

Bondage is the idea of enjoying sexual gratification through the act of being restrained. Everything else is BDSM (or Bondage and Discipline with Sadomasochism if you will). Put simply, the difference between bondage and BDSM is with bondage, you enjoy the gain but without the pain.

For this reason bondage is fast becoming one of the most popular ways for couples to spice up their sex lives. Now that we’ve helped clear up exactly what it is, let’s take a look at the five best ways you can begin to explore this naughty side you never even knew you had.

Time is of the essence

Although bondage is on the lighter side of risqué, it’s still a step up from what even the British Medical Journal refers to as ‘vanilla sex’ so we recommend you take it easy at first.

The popularity of bondage toys has rocketed over the last couple of years; the use of a blindfold stops the wearer from seeing what is happening while cuffs prevent them from moving around freely. This sensory deprivation – which is of course one of the best and most important aspects of bondage – can be a little unsettling for newbies.

Taking your time and moving through the gears not only reassures the restrained partner, but it’s also a wonderfully tantalising way to tease them to even greater excitement. Despite what Fifty Shades of Grey may suggest, there’s plenty of time for wheels, chains and dungeons once you’ve got the basics down to a tee.

Trust your partner

Typically a bondage session consists of two ‘players,’ a top and a bottom.

Tops are the more dominant partner, the one who instigates and takes control of the session; bottoms on the other hand are submissive and generally on the receiving end of whatever the top has in mind. Some players like to swap from top to bottom either mid-session but more usually session by session, these players are known as switches.

Whether you’re a top, a bottom or a switcher, being able to fully trust your partner at all times is paramount to successful bondage for the simple reason that this person is either going to tie you up, or let you tie them up, so playing with someone you know won’t bend the rules half-way through will help you to relax and enjoy the game all the more.

Plan B-ondage

Those of us who’ve seen Fifty Shades – or indeed any other misleading bondage offerings that grace our screens from time to time – may be familiar with the idea of a safe word. However, due to the lighter nature of bondage this probably isn’t necessary, unless you really want to err on the side of caution, which is absolutely never a bad idea.

Whether or not you decide to use a safe word, things such as spare keys are an important part of your back-up plan, to save yourself the embarrassment to have to call a locksmith to explain why you’re chained half-naked to the bed post.

Remember, Bondage is just a bit of fun

If you’re having a go at bondage you’re presumably looking to have a little fun whilst exploring something that you haven’t tried before, so it’s important to remember that as with all the good stuff which goes on in the bedroom, the top priority should be exactly that; having fun. Role play allows you to explore a new persona if that feels like a more comfortable way to let your freaky flag fly.

Staying relaxed, going with the flow, being respectful to your partner and being prepared for the fact that everything might not go exactly according to plan will increase your chances of a successful introduction to the kinky club, adding an exciting edge to your sex life that will always keep your lover guessing and hopefully wanting more!